Open Letter To Any Woman Starved For
In Her Marriage:
Monday, October 15th
My Very Frustrated Friend,
This letter has the potential to transform your life,
as it has already done for many other women that like you, were trapped in
an unsatisfactory relationship, unable to understand what was going on, and
suffering the impact of passive aggressive behavior. Keep reading to learn
how to go from your dreams to a better daily reality!
When you desperately dream of a solution to the extreme isolation in your marriage, what is it you dream about?
You dream of a man that looks at you,
listens to what you say, touches your hand, gives you what you need to achieve
your wishes, and is emotionally present and there for you. You dream that
you are first in his life, and that he goes out
and does what needs to be done to fulfill his share of chores that meet your,
and your family's needs, without ifs, buts, conditions or screams; he simply
stands up, and begins doing what needs to be done:
- Asking you about your needs in a gentle way, so you
can express them,
- Providing dinner so you can have a surprise "kitchen
- Planning a nice outing for your anniversary, based
on your dreams.
- Being there with you in the event of a crisis in
the family, no excuses,
- Making sure that the family budget includes the things
Taking the time to really listen when you need a shoulder to lean on,
- Reading to the children at night on his own,
- Saying how much he admires you to his friends in
- Sending you the message that he is there for you, no
- Appreciating the support you give him, and always
giving you credit,
Doing whatever is needed to provide support and love to the family.
- No Protesting..
No Sabotaging by making intentional mistakes..
No Demanding immediate credit for a little task done
Just Being There 100%!
Is it just while you are connecting with your deeper wishes
that you realize how huge, the difference is between this image and your daily
To begin with, you need to know that this situation:
Is Not Your Fault!
WHATEVER YOUR ACTUAL EXPERIENCE IS, does it look more like this?
You feel the need to walk on eggshells around him to
prevent a switch in mood, from indifferent to resentful and/or confrontational;
You are afraid of expressing your true feelings for fear your partner will become either angry at you or isolate himself into his shell.
You feel alone many times when the one you love is besides you;
You sleep in the same bed, but feel miles apart;
As you're sitting there reading this letter, perhaps you identify with Lisa's story, as told here:
"Every time we got close, Jim pulled further away. I could SEE it happening. We'd seem to grow closer and closer, which made him feel invaded, so he'd push me away. I'd try to get nearer and he'd back away. It was a vicious cycle. If I complained, he would blame ME, saying it was my "behavior' that drove him away."
I think he loves me somehow and that makes it harder to cut the cord. But, if I keep holding on to the HOPE, the never-ending HOPE that things will improve, I will be in this same emptiness forever. I need help to let go of him.
I realized I could do anything to help and support him but it might not matter, because nothing really changes. He is passive aggressive and I never knew how to deal with him along those lines, because I still need a loving, dedicated husband at my side. Instead, I've always been thrown into the cycle of hurt and abuse, ending in this miserable loneliness.
Lisa B., Atlanta
When your loved one is swallowing his feelings, ignoring that there is a conflict to be resolved and locking you out, the result is a lot of unresolved emotions and frustration festering inside.
With communication broken between both of you, he is withdrawing from sharing daily life more and more.
You can even have repetitive cycles of this destructive dance:
You feel lonely and get more emotional, reaching out to him,
He watches you becoming upset and thus feels the need to control himself by getting more calm and logical,
It makes you more anxious to break the wall around him and be really understood,
Then he is scared of your emotional display and retreats into stony silence, you feel utterly rejected and left out.
THERE IS A REASON you do not have the dedicated,
loving and responsible husband you dream of: It is the pervasive spread of
passive aggressive behavior, becoming more and more frequent!
Men just typically do not know how to deal with their emotions and so their default setting is usually to go into this state of passive aggressiveness. That's just how they deal with it.
Surprisingly the difference between a healthy relationship
and an unhealthy one has to do with controlling your husband's passive aggressiveness
into a more responsive and connected attitude.
You know it's just something that happens
naturally as a defense mechaqnism and if you do nothing to fix it, then it's
going to continue to happen and you're going to grow further and further apart.
You know that make sense, right?
Unfortunately if you do nothing to stop
this natural occurrence of things, you two will probably just continue to
grow further and further apart, meaning whatever you are experiencing now
is just going to continue to get worse and worse until one day you wake up
to the certainty that there is no life in this relationship; it is an empty
shell, and you get nothing from it.
There is an accepted and
funny division of labor in our society: men are raised to be the logical ones;
women are taught to be sensible, emotional feeling beings.
This is taking a toll on all of us: men
believe they can't manage their emotions and other people's emotions and tend
to abandon any intent at communicating their feelings to their wives.
Women believe they have to do double duty,
reading their own and their husband's emotions, which is exhausting and lonely.
For men, retreating into silence and denying
the existence of the inevitable marital conflicts is the easy way out; it
is fast, and "solves the problem" without confrontation (at least for now)
and saves their emotional energy.
It is difficult for a
normal husband to read and address the indicators of the emotional gap between
his wife and himself; what happens when he gives up and retreats into complete
Now he doesn't respond
to the obvious challenges of everyday married life; doesn't take ownership
of the shared upkeep of marriage; and finally he develops internal resentment
at the marriage, at you and at his present life.
He is choosing to shut
up, and ends up not knowing how to manage his internal emotional states, and
thus how to reach out to you or the children with love and affection. Loneliness
and resentment fill the void.
Remember, No Matter What He Says,
It's Not All Your Fault...
As young girls we were taught to put our
needs behind the needs of others. We saw our mothers do it, we saw our mothers'
mothers do it. It was selfless and kind, but there were no warranties that
you would be happy this way. And all along the way, it trained all females
to provide the social glue that keeps us together: empathy and caring.
Do you remember the most common "life rules" that you learned at
- Take care of others before yourself.
- Disregard your own feelings to make your family happy.
- Don't complain when you are upset.
- You can't have your own life - your life is with your family.
- Don't be confrontational to your partner or other family members.
- Overlook harmful behavior from your partner because he is stressed out by the work he does to support the family.
Does it sound familiar?
Throughout my entire life I have heard some variation or
other of these "Life Rules." And, sadly, for almost four decades, I believed
them to be the way to deal with others!
But, they ARE NOT true!!!
YOU are an individual person, and have your own, valid needs for love and connection.
YOU are worthy of respect and love.
YOU have the power to shape your life - in ANY WAY you choose! Even in marriage.
To be complete, beyond compassion and love NOW you need the tools to assert yourself while earning respect from other people.
YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS:
THERE ARE DEGREES OF PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR.
The impact of the passive aggressive cycle in your marriage will get even more painful.
IF AT FIRST:
Your husband could exhibit some indicators of repressed anger:
- Procrastinate, leave work undone, or "forget" to
fulfill his share of tasks.
- When asked about his problems he will not open up,
but make excuses or blame others for his problems.
- Or shut up completely, or omit
information giving vague answers or lie to you;
- He may deny his own behavior and claim he always
has good intentions.
- If you insist on answers he will create a crisis,
blaming you for it.
THEN: IT WILL GET WORSE:
Silence breeds separation and more hostility;
- In separation we assume negative intentions of the
other ("he doesn't talk to me because he doesn't love me any longer." (The
truth is: HE is probably missing words and feels uncomfortable expressing
- Then we try to confirm that the other has negative
intentions towards us by reading his actions in the worst possible light:
"HE says that he forgot my birthday, but he probably did remember it and
chose to ignore me instead of celebrating me")
- Finally this growing hostile communicational divide
swallows any trust and love by generating hostility and mistrust.
LOVE IS GONE!
Let's review the worst aspects of passive aggressive behavior, as they
could appear in your intimate relationship.
You can see your husband:
Isolating or rejecting you without an obvious reason;
- Stopping you from expressing your feelings of love or ignoring them;
- Preventing you from getting your family's or friends' support;
- Showing sensitivity and caring one minute; hostility and resentment the
Making negative jokes about you with his friends, while smiling at you the next minute;
- Attacking you in public with descriptions as "nagging" "controlling"
"abusive" "coercive" and other words linked with abuse and control;
Unexpected, unprovoked anger attacks, not related to the issue being discussed, but related to the experience he is having of you through his distorted "over-controlled child" lenses;
- As a way of frustrating you, and retaining control of the relationship
he will show no interest in sex exactly when you feel that the two of you
are connecting and happy together!
Are you with me now? Can you identify with this picture? IF YES, You
don't have to suffer the pain, humiliation, and loneliness one day longer.
We Are Offering You The Best Tools Against Passive Aggression:
- 57 Pages of solid advice and techniques to shield you from passive aggression
- TWO personal Coaching Sessions, (delivered by phone or email) to help
you apply the techniques to your personal situation
Go Ahead - Break the Old Rules!
Are you struggling to find some basic peace, trust and happiness in your current relationship?
Do you crave open, honest communication
with your partner, but he often gives you the cold shoulder?
Do you think you could have a good
amount of respect for him if only you understood your husband's motivations
better? Or if he was willing and able to be consistent with his promises?
Do you want to be able to trust
him to follow up on his promises to you?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions it is time
to learn how to control your future and discover the secrets to reclaiming
your full love life. If you feel trapped in an unhappy relationship, or if
you are tired of useless confrontations with your loved one, it is time to
make a change, by using the techniques that this e-book and
the personalized coaching sessions are offering you.
My husband of twenty years is a
passive aggressive person, and it was always very difficult to live with
him. He wouldn't remember any of my good aspects, only the negative ones.
It seemed that nothing was ever good enough for him. He had unrealistic
expectations, and could only see things in "black and white."
He would forget promises, make decisions without consulting me, and be very abusive. He blamed me for everything, called me names, and yelled at me. However, I was the only person he would treat like this. He wouldn't do it with ANYONE ELSE! After years it became too much humiliation for me. I couldn't cope with the sadness anymore. I felt hopeless and alone. I believed I had two options for my life; stay in an unhappy marriage, or leave my husband.
Then, I read your e-book. And I
stopped blaming him, and saw that I had to learn new tricks if I wanted
to stay and avoid a divorce!
You provided me with simple, easy-to-follow
solutions that were on-target and applicable to my situation. I learned
exact phrases I could use when communicating with him...and, they worked!
Because divorce was never an option for me, I was desperate to develop
a better relationship with my husband.
Little did I know that to manage
him, I needed to have my own space of power, and distance myself from
his temper tantrums and not blame myself for them. And, now, thanks to
you, I have a better, more respectful marriage than ever before! Thank
you! Your e-book saved my marriage and now I'm my own person!
Ann Marie Bellinghouse
Montreal , Quebec , CA
By tonight YOU will know how to:
Preserve your self-confidence and improve your self-esteem.
Focus specifically on your needs and desires.
Manage confrontational situations with poise and assurance.
Express yourself in an assertive way, without losing credibility or respect.
Negotiate difficult issues with confidence and ease.
Maintain and respect your own perspectives, without being confused.
Validate your anger and frustrations without letting these feelings control you.
Avoid being the "savior" of destructive personalities/behaviors.
Take better care of yourself and your own needs.
Strengthen your support system.
HERE is the path to recovery:
You don't have to feel overwhelmed, confused, or hurt one
more day! Now you can have the tools you need to function in a difficult relationship.
If a person you love reacts to you in a passive aggressive way, there is help.
You can learn how to respond to them, how to react in any situation, and how
to enjoy your life again!
Instead of lying in bed at night just wishing for him to
change - you can be the instrument of change! By knowing what to expect and
how to respond, you will have the confidence you need to make life-altering
adjustments in your relationship. You will be happier. You will experience
more peace and control, like here:
"You want to go to a party together with your husband. At the last minute
he is procrastinating by not getting dressed or preparing, so now you understand
he is not going..., and it's obvious that you know that while he initially
verbally agreed to go, he is now dilly-dallying around and he's not going
to do it.
So you have the option of staying there and feeling angry and frustrated
by his behavior, or say: "Okay I'm leaving the house at 8:30 either with
you or without you, so make up your mind. Let me know your decision: you're
free to decide whatever, but I'm going. That's it."
It's a kind way of confronting him, not making him feel guilty, but throwing the decision back at him. You deal with his indecision in a concrete way; regardless of what he does, it's not going to create more tension. It also allows you to feel better about yourself and I'm sure it prevents your choices from being sabotaged by his behavior.
Taking Control of Your Life
By mastering these skills you will never
again be a victim to passive aggressive behavior. You can finally free yourself
of the emotional roller-coaster ride you've been on; you can learn to trust
yourself again as a person with emotional strength, and you can feel, once
and for all, truly happy with the person you are.
But, only read this e-book if you are ready
for a change. Are you prepared to release your own pent-up feelings of helplessness
against life and marriage? Are you ready to stop waiting for him to change;
and to take control of your relationship and move it into a whole new direction?
If so, this e-book is for you, because there WILL BE change. Your relationship
will be different. You will feel secure in your reactions towards him.
He can continue to be as passive aggressive
as he wants, but you will not feel that he can damage or control your life,
and because of your reaction his need to use this behavior against you is
Do you understand this point clearly? You
are destroying his main motivation to use this behavior against you! Now you
will look forward to a better future with the person you love. Are you ready
for this kind of change?
Breaking the Passive Aggressive Spell
The more frequently you experience the ups
and downs of a passive aggressive relationship, the more you accept it. Doubts
will seep into your mind about the validity of his words and you will wonder
if you -perhaps- deserve this treatment. You will feel guilty because you
can't make your partner happy and you will question his love for you. The
longer you stay in this confusion, the easier it will be for him to control
you by making you doubt your own perspectives and values! What is the
price of this relentless push towards control?
Your self-esteem pays the price, which is
Maybe you recall some of the"Life Rules"we
mentioned earlier. Put others before yourself, hide or conceal your true feelings
while ensuring the happiness of others, don't be confrontational, overlook
harmful behavior from your partner because he is stressed out. This is the
perfect script to make you the passive aggressive husband's spouse!
These are antiquated and old-fashioned ideas,
and they do not make you or your partner happier in a relationship. They make
you feel inferior, emotionally drained, confused, and easily manipulated.
Every time you give in to passive aggressive behavior you lose a piece of
yourself. You forfeit a piece of your confidence and your self-esteem.
Have you tried to have a candid conversation
with your partner, only for it to backfire or escalate into a full-blown argument?
Instead of understanding and compassion you are met with accusations, verbal
abuse, or deafening silence.
Or, perhaps he seems to understand. He feels
regretful for his actions and reaches out to you. You eagerly accept this
act of apology because you are starving for the affection and attention you
once had in your relationship. You think everything will return to normal.
You are once again, hooked by the passive aggressive spell because eventually
his loving behavior subsides and you are once again confronted with anger
and aggression. You fear confrontation and slowly you become more and more
a victim of passive aggressive behavior.
You are not alone.
Meet Natasha Taylor from Baton Rouge, LA:
Hi. My name is Natasha Taylor. I'd hate to think of what my life would be like today if I hadn't purchased your book. I had been in a relationship with my husband for almost 10 years. We grew up together. Our families were friends. He was my high-school sweetheart. For years everything was perfect - or, as perfect as it could be for two teenagers. But, we were very much in love. Our carefree lives seemed to revolve around each other.
Then, when we married and had children, something in his personality changed. He became more aggressive, more easily agitated, and less loving. It was only a slight difference at first. I thought it was because of post-college stress. I made excuses for his behavior. He was like a miniature version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Some days he would be the normal, loving man I had known for so many years, and other days he was a complete stranger to me.
One night it escalated into a huge argument, and I knew I had to do something to change our relationship. He was angry and his temper flared so violently that I was afraid he might hit me. For the first time in my life I was scared of him.
And the next morning he denied that we had a serious
fight and dismissed me and my questions as if nothing happened. That scared
me worse than the fight! Were there two people, like in Jekyll and Hyde?
The next day I started researching passive aggressive behavior. That is when I found your site. It offered a one-month trial and a full 100% money-back guarantee. What did I have to lose?
I downloaded the e-book and in minutes was learning
valuable information I knew would change my life. Things have never been
better for me, now that I understand how I should react to his passive
I am not sure what the future holds for us, but I know I can now express my needs that we move forward with a more loving, respectful, and caring attitude towards one another. I know that it is all thanks to the information I learned in this e-book. It gave me information and support!
Thank you so much!
Natasha Taylor - Baton Rouge , Louisiana
Your Options are Now Open...
How many times have your friends said, "Just
leave the guy?" This looks like an easy solution, right? Well, not if you
still are in love with him. While your friends might have your best interest
in mind when they offer advice, they aren't in your position, and they can't
provide guidance objectively. As you recognize and respect your true feelings
for this person. You know you have seen him at his best, and you know he can
be that person again.
Making a break from a passive aggressive
person is one solution. But, if you are committed to your relationship, you
need to have other options! You must take control of your relationship today.
You must learn how to deal with passive aggressive people so they can't torment
your relationships anymore. You don't have to be a victim of your love life
one more day!
In your heart you know you should learn
the skills you need to use in order to be secure and confident in your relationships.
You should discover how to be assertive without being aggressive. You should
identify ways to defend yourself against all difficult people. This process
of retraining yourself and breaking old habits might take time, but the results
will show through in your recovered relationships and your improved self-esteem.
"Defend Yourself Against Passive Aggression"
is awesome! I learned some really cool things about human
nature and interpersonal relationships. I was able to see myself in some
of the examples, and learn what I was doing to invite his control over
me. This e-book
discusses hidden insecurities we all have and taught me
deal with my own issues, and how to interact with my husband in
You don't have to go through this alone!
The childhood notion of "happily ever after"
has been ingrained in our spirits from birth. Fairy tales and love stories
taught us that hard work, dedication, and true love could overcome any obstacle.
As we matured we were faced with the harsh reality that life doesn't imitate
the big screen. But, think for a moment about your favorite fairy tale or
love story. How does the heroine finally overcome her obstacles and achieve
She had help. And, now so do you.
As you become aware of the need to get direct
help for this situation, you will also recognize that Defend Yourself Against
Passive Aggression" fits exactly the description of what you need to have
today. It was designed and written by Relationship Expert Nora Femenia, and
Neil Warner, a professional coach. Both are eager to help you on your journey
to "happily ever after." They will coach and guide you through your journey
of self-discovery, while providing vital solutions to your most serious questions.
They will help you navigate the deep changes you are seeking in your life
and show you the way to a brighter tomorrow.
TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE ALL THE HELP YOU NEED, HERE IS THE SECOND PART OF THE OFFER:
is Coach Nora?
Nora has experience as a coach as well
as a trainer, having worked as a family therapist with all kinds of personal
and family conflict topics. She can give you powerful perspectives to
consider when it comes to understanding your situation, focusing on your
needs and taking action when planning your future.
What is coaching?
Conflict coaching is a person to person
process dedicated to helping you look at your situation and developing
some effective responses to improve it fast. Single coaching sessions
help you to do a quick exploration of your marital conflict situation
and gain a clearer understanding of your choices. As you become aware
of your options, you will get the support necessary to make the right
How are coaching sessions delivered?
Sessions can be delivered over the phone, via Skype,
or other electronic media. You can also use only email. You will use email
to deliver your homework between session one and two, and to send your
own personal questions for Coach Nora to answer.
Can I get to know more about the results of working with Nora?
"I have been married 28 years to a passive/aggressive
man who kept me thoroughly confused and off-center the entire marriage.
The worst part was not being able to identify whether the problem
was me or him. While in therapy a couple of years ago, my therapist
suggested I read some literature about passive/aggressive men. After reading
some of your articles and e-books first, and then talking to you personally
I finally found peace at last! By putting a name to the problem
and researching it as the personality disorder I believe it to be, I am
now able to heal and walk away from the relationship without the heartache
and pain I have felt so many times when contemplating separation or divorce.
Thank you for all of your research and loving care, Nora!"
"Defend Yourself Against Passive Aggression"
- Living with a passive aggressive person is a challenge; you need useful solutions to dealing with difficult situations as they arise.
- You will be guided through positive conflict management strategies that are applicable to your current situation.
- You will be offered tips for adjusting the influence your partner has in your relationship.
- You will begin to identify the messages your partner is sending regarding his personal motivations and deep-rooted fears.
- You will understand how to cope with various lifestyle changes.
- You will finally know - once and for all - how to break the passive aggressive spell using some ideas from positive conflict resolution.
- As you implement new techniques you will see a gradual change in your life.
- Your partner will respond to you differently.
- You will both experience increased happiness and value in your relationship.
Start Improving Your Love Life in Less than Five Minutes
"Defend Yourself Against Passive Aggression"" is available
to you RIGHT NOW. In less than five minutes you could be learning priceless
secrets to repair your relationships and be on your way to a happier, healthier
love life. Reconnecting with your loved one has never been easier!
Why should you purchase this e-book today? Because you can
see ALL the benefits of getting this e-book:
- Zero shipping costs.
- No waiting.
- No risk of package being lost or damaged in the mail.
- One-month, 100% money-back guarantee.
Now What Do I Do?
It's easy! When you select the "Click Here
to Order Now" tab you will be redirected to a secure page where you can
complete your purchase via PayPal.
You will then be invited to download "Defend
Yourself Against Passive Aggression" and have instant access to the secrets
and tips included in the book, as well as your coaching session.
So you have nothing to lose and everything
to gain when you say YES to this offer today. Remember, there is a no-risk,
100% one month money-back guarantee.
No-Risk 1 Month Instant Money-Back Guarantee
Here's what I want you to do. I want you
to open it up, read it for ten minutes as soon as you check out and if after
ten minutes you don't feel like you just made one of the best investments
of the year then contact me and I'll refund your money promptly to you so
you have nothing to lose and everything to gain when you say yes to this offer
If ten minutes after you read this e-book
you don't think this is one of the best investments you've made for the year,
then please contact me and I'll be happy to return all of your money back
to you because we want to satisfy you. Try it out for a full 30 days, put
it to use and see how it works out for you and you can still get your money
And if you honestly don't feel way better about yourself
or way better about your relationship within 48 hours of checking out just
ten minutes of this book, I want you to contact me and I will cheerfully and
happily return every penny of your purchase to you. That's how confident
I am that this help will be wonderful for you.
That is 30 days for you to read, examine, and implement
these valuable strategies in your life. We encourage you to try as many of
the tips and techniques as possible. We're convinced that once you see how
easy it is to reconnect with your loved one, reclaim your happiness in your
love life, and regain your confidence and self-esteem - you will NEVER return
However, if for any reason you aren't completely satisfied
with "Defend Yourself Against Passive Aggression"," let us know and we will
immediately refund your payment. No questions. No hassles. Guaranteed!
After you make your decision to order your copy of this
e-book, you will immediately feel more in control of your life. Order
"Defend Yourself Against Passive Aggression" by Tuesday, October 16th and you pay only
For less than $50 you can have the tools you have always needed to have
a happy, successful relationship with the person you love. What are you
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Please do not hesitate to contact me at
E-mail: info (at) passiveaggresive.com
Nora Femenia, PhD.
Creative Conflict Resolutions
3415 Galt OCean Drive
Phone: +1 (954) 607-2183